Lessons I’ve Learned from Each of My Ex-Boyfriends

I was thinking the other day, about love and life and everything we go through and how we are so easily blinded and don’t see things in the moment, but if we look back later certain things become so incredibly clear to us. We can see our lives from a different perspective after growing  and learning and notice how specific people or things affected us or what certain situations taught us and how they helped to shape who we are today.

So I thought it would be interesting and a bit fun to take a trip down memory lane and do a recap of what I now see that each of my relationships taught me. So let’s just say, in no particular order, below is the CliffNotes version of the lessons I’ve learned from each of my ex-boyfriends – with my husband thrown in there for good measure.

1. Love is real, but know that people aren’t always ready for that commitment and accept that.
   • You shouldn’t have to chase someone or constantly fight for the survival of your relationship – so don’t. And even more importantly, you can’t fix or save people – they have to help themselves.
2. Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me. Continue to hurt me, I’ve clearly lost my mind.
   • Don’t ever let anyone manipulate you, string you along, or make you feel so worthless that you go down paths you know you’re better than.
3. Don’t let yourself be used.
   • No matter how much you may love a person, and they may even love you back, but if they are using you that’s not fair. Relationships need to be a two-way street. And don’t stay in a relationship just because it’s an escape for you.
4. Be fair to people and if someone treats your right, care for their feelings before yours.
   • If something changes and you realize that you’re not feeling the same, let them know and let them go. There may still be love there – but learn to recognize when something just isn’t right before things get ugly and people get hurt.
5. You can’t numb the pain or the confusion.
   • That only works for so long before things have to get real and people have to choose to grow up.
6. There are indeed really good people out there that you can trust.
   • Everything happens for a reason; life happens for you, not to you. Everything you’ve gone through has been preparing you for the right person and your future. Also, nothing will ever be perfect, but with the right person you can work through the challenging times.